среда, 15 октября 2008 г.

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These are the letters missing from my ipod, not some sort of conundrum I want you to solve.

The word is:� Quiefohxyz

I have no bands beginning with E. The Editors are too tame. apos;Eelsapos; make me think of some guy I met, who I thought was amazing but a few days later I realised heapos;s a mindless, over compensating, less-talented prick. And who calls them self apos;Tagapos;, regardless of whether your surname is Taggart or something less crime-drama based. Elliot Smith, all though dead, does not deserve my attention either, unlike some of the other dead and amazing musicians I i am fond of. After a few plays of his albums you realise that what at first sounded beautiful and poetic is actually romeo and juliet�quotes drowned in the depression of unrequited love.
And so to F. Foo Fighters would never appear on my Ipod. Theyapos;re over-rated cunts. "Oh I used to be in Nirvana. I played the drums, but here I play guitar and sing. Look how talented I am. Iapos;m not cashing in on my fellow musicians demise at all. Look how youthful I am, playing with my pre-pubesent band members." As for Feeder, they highlight the idea of everyone loving each other and playing their albums in the sun thinking theyapos;re so cool.� What they should be thinking is "maybe I should listen to real music?" The only band I have ever found worthy of the apos;Fapos; spot is Franz Ferdinands self titled first album, which is a work of genius and part of my teenage years. And it is the only cd of which there are 3 copies of in the Barnes houshold. Despite all of this, there is no room for them on a supposed 4GB ipod nano. Perhaps there would be if my 4GB ipod provided me with that extra 35MB or KB, whatever the correct�computer metric term is, that should be there, but alas it is not.
H. Hoosiers - pop rock for boys. Happy Mondays? Piss off. Hot Chip - much like the whole apos;gayapos; thing. Tried it, didnapos;t like it. No, there will never be a worthy band in the alphabetical position of H.
I. Who? Who begins with I? Honestly? Iggy Pop and the Stooges. Its the same story for them as it is Franz Ferdinand. Not listened too enough to take up valuable room.
The same is with O. I donapos;t think I have ever had an O on this Ipod. Oasis are shit, no matter how often I am told apos;Whatapos;s the Story Morning Shitting Gloryapos; is a great album. And Ocean Colour Scene? they did one good song, which I can only describe as being in the�scale of Bm and being the first song every amatuer, wannabe bassist learns.
Q. If you didnapos;t know this already, I actually have every queen album. All the ones they released before the dark times when they reformed without a bassist and the greatest frontman in history was replaced by some fucking old-rocking dick. Paul Rodgers was in what? Some less successful but "classic" band of the 70apos;s. No, I have every queen album consisting of nothing but original material.�When I was ten and only getting �2.50 a week, I saved up for ages to buy the 2CD album of "Queen: Live At Wembley" which was priced �24.99 and on sale at woolworths. Every christmas and birthday I would ask for another Queen album, determined to own them all. I would wake up early on Saturday Mornings and sit downstairs watching my Queen Greatest Hits VHS. I would sing along loud and proud whenever I heard them and thought I was alone. And this all stemmed from my Brother, who introduced me to them but never quite dedicated himself to them like I did. But as time has passed I do not love Queen as much as I did. Sometimes, if I have room on my Ipod I will put a few of my favourite tracks on, but when someone hands me a new album, they are quickly removed to make way for the next big thing. So sorry Queen, youapos;re not hot anymore. You were replaced by me taking an interest in guitars, hippies and jimi hendrix.
U is, again, another vowel with no bands to call its own. And X mght as well be a vowel, as it too can honestly have�no apos;goodapos; bands worth listening too.
the Yardbirds are hit and miss. They are the start of something fantastic in Music History, but itapos;s not quite there yet.
And Z. Unless Zelda has a pop group I am not the foggiest.

So this goes to prove that all the best bands begin with - mainly - B, D, J and R. Alot of other great bands begin with letters outside this list, but these are the letters that swamp my ipod the most.

B: The Beatles, The Black Keys, Bob Dylan - bands that I have alot of albums by.
D: Damien Rice, David Bowie, Deep Purple, Devendra Banhart and of course The Doors.
J: Jimi Hendrix, Jeff Buckley, Jefferson Airplane - again a small list but being a hendrix lover he takes up alot of room.
and finally
R: The Rolling Stones, Radiohead and Ray LaMontagne. Musicians and bands that I have, if not all, far too many albums by.

And now, filling the N-spot is Noah and the Whale. Hopefully they will�stand the test of time.
Itapos;s unlikely.

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